I want to talk to my daughter about her changing body and sex. Can you recommend some Christian resources that would help?
Most girls begin to experience changes in their bodies between the ages of 8 and 13 with some sooner and some later. Puberty can be an exciting time but can also be frightening and confusing. Girls wonder what is happening to their bodies and also wonder if others are experiencing the same changes. For a parent (usually mom does the talking but not always), it can be a scary subject to approach. You may feel embarrassed (which is totally normal!) and ill equipped to answer her questions or explain the changes. Here are several resources to help guide you through “the talk” and hopefully will open up lines of communication for further questions. Some of the books are Christian based (these will be noted) and some are secular. Use your discretion and take what you need from a variety of books.
The Care and Keeping of You from The American Girl Library
Chicken Soup for the Soul, Preteens Talk
“What’s Happening to my Body?” Book for Girls by Lynda Madaras (this is one of those books that you might want to pick out only a few things. It is great for anatomical pictures but also covers some topics you may not feel comfortable discussing with your daughter)
The Body Book it’s a God thing! Part of the Lily series and written by Nancy Rue. (highly recommend this one)
Bloom: A Girl’s Guide to Growing up by Focus on the Family
Mother and Daughters---Closer to Each Other by Susie Shellenberger
Before I was Born by Carolyn Nystrom
God's Design for Sex by Stan and Brenna Jones
Help!! I don’t know how to start the conversation with my daughter and what to say when I do.
As I mentioned earlier, this can be a scary subject to approach especially if our own mother’s made it hard for us to ask questions about our changing bodies. Keep in mind that our daughter’s truly don’t know about these issues and want someone they can ask without being afraid of embarrassment. Here are a few suggestions to help you get started (Adapted from What Your Daughter Isn’t Telling You):
• Make it easy for her to share. Tell her about when you were her age and how you learned about puberty. Keep the conversation casual such as when you are driving in the car or just hanging out together. You might start saying something like “it was always hard for me to approach my mom and ask questions about my period. I want you to always feel that you can come to me and ask questions about any of this.”
• Break the ice. Make casual comments, around your daughter, about “girl” things. Tell her when you are having PMS or cramping. You want her to realize that these are normal parts of being a woman. One caution though. Be careful not to make having a period seem dreadful (although it can be at times) as you don’t want to scare her.
• Tell her about when you began to develop and when you started your period. Our daughter’s development will most likely begin around the same time as ours did so if you were a late bloomer, let her know so she isn’t worried that she hasn’t yet started her period.
• Don’t wait for your daughter starts forming breast to talk to her about her changing body. She wants to know what to expect so be honest and tell her that her breast will probably itch, be sore and may even develop unevenly at first. Assure her that all of these things are normal and that she has no need to be embarrassed.