I think my daughter might be depressed? How can I tell?
Depression is a serious, yet often, misunderstood illness. Yes, I said illness. Depression is no different than any other illness. It is a chemical imbalance, in the brain, that a person cannot control. Unfortunately, depression has long carried a stigma but this needs to change. I speak from personal experience. I had post-partum depression with our 2nd child. I was briefly in the hospital and unable to be in our home and around our children for a month. It has been a long process of healing but with meds, counseling and a wonderfully supportive husband and family, I made it through. I am still on meds, 10 years later, and probably will be for a while. Unfortunately, one of our girls has also dealt with depression for the past 4 years. I have learned more than I ever wanted to know about the disease but am so grateful that I can help and encourage other moms/people in their struggle.
A person is said to be depressed if their symptoms last for more than 2 weeks and significantly affect their daily lives. Teen depression is not something to be taken lightly and should be addressed and treated as soon as possible. The latest statistics show that approximately 1 in 8 adolescents suffer from depression and sadly, more than 30% of these teens are not properly diagnosed or treated.
The teenage years are marked by drama and often out of control emotions/hormones. So, how does a parent distinguish between these normal hormonal fluctuations and clinical depression. Here is a list of common signs of depression:
• Depressed mood
• Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or helplessness
• Loss of interest in things like spending time with friends, playing a sport or anything else that the teen once really enjoyed
• Decreased energy, sluggishness, sleeping more than normal without signs of a growing spurt
• Loss of appetite
• Isolating themselves
• Low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, guilt
• Problems in school (failing grades, behavior issues)
• Inability to concentrate
• Not caring about how they look
• Unexplained physical symptoms with no physical cause (psychosomatic)
These are just the most commons ones. You know your child…trust your gut instincts if you think something is “off” with your teen. Risk factors, for teen depression, include:
• Gender…girls are twice as likely to suffer than men
• Teens who have been abused/neglected
• Heredity…family history of depression
• Suffering from a long-term or chronic illness
• A major life disruption (death in family, divorce, a move etc)
I have attached some links to some helpful articles.
Depression and Suicide
Causes of Depression
What is Teen Depression?
Symptoms of Depression
I’m pretty sure my daughter is suffering from depression. Where to I go from here and how do I get help?
First off, let me tell you there is hope! There many resources available today to help individuals who are suffering from this scary and often debilitating illness. The first thing you daughter needs is you. Imagine how frightened you would be, as an adult, if you were experiencing feelings that you didn’t understand. I can guarantee you that your daughter is just as scared if not more. She needs your love, understanding, patience and above all else, to know that you are there for her. Assure her that she is not alone in her struggle (as depression is becoming more common) and that God is always with her. In His word, God tells us that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). One of the verses I clung to during my darkest time, in dealing with my depression was Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Depression will not cure itself. You need to seek out professional help sooner than later.
• Start by making an appt with her pediatrician or family doctor. Most doctors will tell you when they feel a specialist needs to be involved such as a psychiatrist. Now, please understand that seeing a psychiatrist does not always include medications. Putting your daughter/child on depression medication is a tough and sometimes heart-wrenching decision (remember, I have been in this very place).
• You can seek out a Christian counselor who can work with both your daughter and the entire family (as this will affect the whole family). www.sechristian.org can give you information on the counseling staff at Southeast Christian Church. Many other Christian counselors can be found by asking friends or going through you local church for a referral. Many wonderful medications are also available if you and your doctor feel that is the appropriate route. However, the medicine is most effective when accompanied by counseling.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help teach teens healthy ways of thinking
• Interpersonal Psychotherapy can help teens determine interpersonal issues/situations that may be contributing to their depression
• Group therapy – teens can meet together with other teens facing similar issues and help one another through their personal experiences and situations
For you moms/dads, it is important that you have a support network. I am not a licensed professional counselor but just a mom who has been through this and survived. I would be happy to talk to you anytime, meet for coffee/lunch or whatever. Please contact Johanna at church at Johanna.spille@sechristian.org and she can give you my contact info. Please know that you are not alone in this. Many families have dealt or are currently dealing with this issue and are making it with God’s loving grace.
Here is a link to some helpful resources:
http://www.family.org/sharedassets/correspondence/pdfs/miscellaneous/Depression.pdf