I think my daughter might be cutting herself. What exactly is considered cutting and why would she do this to herself?
Cutting is becoming a big problem in our society with teenagers (mostly girls but guys also exhibit the behavior). It has even been deemed, in some professional circles, as the “New Anorexia”. Cutting is considered to be a Self Injury or Self Destructive disorder. Statistics of cutting are a bit hard to come by as only a handful of studies have been conducted. However, the available research shows that about 4% of American teens practice some type of self-injury and more specifically, one in 200 girls, between the ages of 13 and 19, practice cutting. Many people falsely believe that cutting is an attempt at suicide. Instead, it signifies intense emotional pain. Cutters don’t mean to hurt themselves permanently or to keep cutting once they start. However, both are possibilities.
So, exactly what is cutting? Cutting is the practice of teens who purposely injure themselves by using a sharp object (razor blade, knife, glass etc) to scratch or cut their skin deep enough to draw blood. Cutting is most often done in areas the teen can easily reach such as arms, legs or torso and where the injuries can be easily concealed. Cutting is sometimes done in groups but is more often done in secret as the teen is often ashamed or embarrassed. If someone asks the teen about the injuries, the teen will usually have a ready excuse of falling down or a dog or cat scratching them.
Teen Cutting Defined -read article-
The question of why a teen cuts themselves is hard to answer as there is never a uniform answer. Honestly, I can’t cover ever reason in this answer; however, at the end, a list of resources has been provided for you to obtain more information. I will go over a few of the most common reasons. As noted earlier, cutting is most often a response to intense emotional pain. Prior to cutting, teens may have thoughts like “I hate myself”, “I am so ugly”, “I’m stupid” or “no one understands or cares about me”. When asked why they cut, teens often say things like “to feel alive”, “to release emotional pain”, “to punish myself” or “ to relive guilt or release anger”.
Cutting and Self-Injury -read article-
Teens often cut as a way to cope with strong emotional pain, relationship problems, intense pressure, feelings that seem too hard to bear or a bad situation that they feel can’t be changed. Others cut to express strong feelings, that they don’t know how to express, such as rage, rejection, sorrow, desperation, longing or emptiness. Cutting can also follow a traumatic experience such as living through abuse, a disaster or some sort of violence. The teen may cut as a way to relive the pain they felt or a way of trying to get control the pain.
What is cutting? - read article-
If my child is cutting herself, what should I do and how can I get her help?
When a parent discovers that their child is cutting herself, they are shocked and want to blame themselves as parents. This reaction is perfectly normal but blaming ourselves, at this time, is not helping our child. Please remember that cutting is a sign of a deeper, more serious issue and a cry for help. Your goal is not to “stop the cutting” but to help your daughter deal with the deeper problem and give her more effective coping strategies for stress that can help her overcome the cutting. Here are a few tips for dealing with this very serious issue.
Cutting Statistics - read article-
Don’t
• React with anger
• Deny that there is a problem
• Assume that it is just a “phase” that she will grow out of
• Ask her what you or your husband did wrong to lead her to do this
• Try to force her to tell you why (she really may not know)
Do:
• Admit that your daughter has a problem (denial is not helpful for anyone)
• Be very supportive
• Realize that this is not just attention seeking behavior and take it seriously
• Seek immediate help
Your first step in seeking treatment would be to contact your daughter’s doctor and make an appt. Realize that treatment will most likely not consist of just some medication and maybe a few counseling sessions. Treatment will be on going and a tedious process for all of the family but please hang in there with your daughter. She needs you now more than ever.
Additional Resources:
Inside a Cutters Mind: Understanding and Helping Those Who Self-Injure by Jerusha Clark and Dr. Earl Henslin
Boundaries with Teens: When to Say Yes, How to Say No by Dr. John Townsend
Scars That Wound, Scars That Heal by Jan Kern
Links to Articles
Helping a Family Member or Friend Who Cuts
FAQ's about Self-Injury
A Window Into a Cutter's World